What was Farah Khan thinking??

I just saw the movie Om Shanti Om today. Hmm... cannot say it is a nice movie but it certainly has some nice scenes in it where the artists have done a wonderful job. The climax where the old Om sees Shanti in the eyes is a touching moment. Mukesh's cool demeanor while burning his own wife who has his child in her womb makes you wanna hurt that man. However, such scenes are few and far apart in a movie that is filled with inane scenes.
I must pin the blame on SRK and SRK alone. Sure, the script (if such a thing exists in a Farah Khan movie) was flawed beyond redemption. However, any ordinary actor with average emoting skills can do justice to a good script. It takes a really good artist to take your mind off the flawed script using his skills. SRK is ... or rather used to be one such actor. This movie... he just fails. Arjun Rampal was the only guy who looked like the 70's guy in the first half. SRK just did not fit in. It was the performance of a guy who just wanted to look like a guy living in the 70's. He just did not get that right and that is the biggest flaw in the movie.
Om Shanti Om.. .seemed like a 2 hour long Sajid Khan's "kehne mein kya harz hai" (a show where he spoofed and parodied practically everybody in the film industry) inserted into a 1 hour movie.
The plot is very simple
Junior artist falls for leading artist.
She is killed by her evil husband along with him
His reincarnation remembers "everything" when he visits the place where he died
He tries to avenge the murder of his love
He gets help of the ghost of the victim
Villain dies and all go home happy.

However, in this simple plot, we have inserted the wwwwwwiiiiiiddddddeeeeee difference between bollywood in the 70's and bollywood in the present day. The comparison was supposed to be frank, brutal and even irreverent. No respect or regard for big names. Just like Sajid Khan. However, this part fails and fails badly. Instead of highlighting the silliness that existed in the 70's, the movie inadvertently ends up highlighting the hypocrisy in the industry. Shabana Azmi spoofs her own activist tendencies. Helloooooooooooooo.... we are talking about values, beliefs and trust here. I was one who thought that she meant what she said when she spoke on burning issues. I thought she was serious when she spoke on slums and Mumbai and other social issues. Then she goes ahead and ridicules herself in the movie... what is that supposed to mean?? Given the right price, you would sell anything..... right??? All the activism nonsense was just to make sure you had a saleable commodity when the price was right??
So Bollywood.. is just a market??? Is it just a factory where smart businessmen play roles to fleece the gullible of their hard earned money?? They sell dreams... they help us satisfy our fantasies and innermost desires by seeing them on the screen. And then.. they go ahead and ridicule our fantasies and our dreams... and sell that as well
Is the film industry like a prostitute who pretends to love you when in reality you are nothing more than a wallet full of money??
Salman Rushdie ( I think) compared Mumbai to a whore who loots you and yet leaves you sated. Mumbai has no problem with that comparison. Rather, it is proud about this trait. Mumbai... is a tough game... leave your emotions home.
But what about bollywood?? It can be fulfill only one role at a single point of time. But not both. It cannot reveal its true and ruthless inner face when it is trying and hoping to seduce you . If it tries to do that, then it is obvious that it takes you for a fool. Ask yourself... will you be stupid enough to believe Azmi's activism again? This movie, by hyping the 70's vs 90's difference reveals Bollywood's line of thinking. If you ridicule awards in your movie and then proceed to vie for the same awards and if you expect us to believe that both are true, then obviously you think we have no brains whatsoever.
So are you here to make money or are you here coz you love arts and the life of fulfilling the larger than life fantasies of the masses? If it is the former, then for heaven's sake drop the bloody facade. You are no different than those who sell their bodies. The next time you expose your big cleavage, it is not coz the "role demanded it". It was simply coz you were paid the right price for it. If you really believe in fantasies and if the guy who claps and whistles at your antics is of any consequence whatsoever, then ... what the hell was OSO all about??

Btw. what the hell is so classy about the dialogue "picture abhi baaki hai'??? how would you feel if your cook came and told you "khana abhi baaki hai"??? They tried to market it as a "the show must go on" dialogue but failed miserably at it.

sorry so long

Teachers Teachers Teachers

Ever been in a room full of people who had assaulted in the past?? Well I had this strange experience. How?? Well I was invited to the wedding reception of my school biology teacher's daughter and found loads of teachers there. I discovered that I tend to sort teachers into two categories- those who have slapped me and those who have not.
Well, I was a student who loved to live the student life to the fullest. Strangely, me and my teachers never saw eye to eye on what a full student life was. So... slap, whack, thud...
I was once slapped real hard for trying to laugh as silently as a gorilla. Not all gorillas are the extrovert types you know. Sadly, the laugh was a rather loud one and it interrupted the efforts of my Maths teacher in introducing us to the nuances of the multiplication table. The consequence of my gorilla laugh... was for all to see. A really red cheek.
Then, my hindi teacher lost it when I submitted my grammar notebook for checking very late. By late, I mean really late. I was like 6 months late. I had cut corners to finish the work and it all added up to make the teacher really angry. She called me up front and gave it to me. The class had been given a free lecture, provided nobody made any noise... meaning talk but make sure the sound does not go out of the class room. Well, you can imagine the surprise of my classmates when the cool and calm teacher called me and gave it to me real hard. For some, it was the perfect way to end a free lecture.
Then we come to the biology teacher herself. Now, teachers do not hold back a slap if the boy is in 6th or 7th standard. However, when you are talking about a 10th Std adolescent, teachers rarely resort to physical punishment. Now, I was the only guy in my class who got it from the teacher. I messed up my biology practical and teacher was not too happy. She raised her hand and I immediately went into dodge mode. I thought this would suffice but sadly for me, my teacher went into anti dodge mode and dodged my dodge.
Some had sent me outside the class. Some had insisted I complete my homework sitting on the floor outside the cabin of the headmistress while one had told me to sit on the floor of the class for the whole day. After that, I learnt that making a girl cry by repeatedly taunting her was not such a good idea after all.
Today, in the party, images kept on coming back and I found myself thankful for the fact that I had such fantastic teachers who spent so much of time trying to help me reach my potential