Musings

My mom says i am a certified marathi fellow
for having violated the southie code of honour
i say ma I haven't loved a maharastrian
i have just fallen in love with a girl
a pretty, nice, sweet and well brought up girl
so wat is d problem???!!!

My girl says i am a pucca southie tam bram
n i beg to differ for i am just a man n not some bloody ram
I say i have not lived in d damn direction for decades
and she says d ties of the soil bind the soul
and wat is dat supposed to mean i growl,
look i love you and you love me.. or at least i hope
so wat is d problem???!!!

I hate these girls taking my boy away, my mom says
i say through gritted teeth- ma no taking away please
i am not a pizza for heavens sake
u wud rather be a vada pav would'nt you is the waspish reply
i give up and try to slink away
but my girl's glare forces me to say
ma wat is d problem???!!!

I prefer being an indian i plead
n both snigger at that and say i mislead
you are a wily kid v know v know
u want to b somebody else which is a no no
U eat rasam like those damn southies
and before i can muster courage
the second wave strikes me hard
You think like those cursed wretched manoos
i dont know which way to look to say
wat is d problem yaar?????!!!

With engagement miles away
i hear the battle for my son's mother tongue
the tongue of the mother or will it be the father's mother's tongue
God i wish he keeps it inside the mouth
and thinks a hundred times before speaking
an aai to the wrong lady and an amma to the wrong pori
god save me my knees shiver in fear of the consequences

I am about to break down
wen the two ladies of my life break into a smile
this is not IT but it could have been
you better be careful wen v r around
v may be good friends but dat wil not stop us
from watching you for signs of trying to switch sides
with a twinkle in their eyes, they smile at each other
and walk out with a warning---
i better not catch you on the other side sonny
i stil ask- wat d hell is d problem ladies???!!!!!!!