Honesty Anyone??

Is it very difficult to make a honest living? Is it too much to ask for name, fame and money along with honesty? Is it really so tough to be honest or is it simply hype? Are these questions relevant to a person of my age? Should I be thinking such things or am I wasting my time? Am I focusing on useless posturing when I should be thinking less and doing more?

Mazes within mazes get more confusing when you wonder whether you should be looking at them in the first place!! However, at the bottom of my heart, I feel these questions are very relevant. I feel these questions have to be answered for any and every individual who is eager to live a ‘honest’ life! Now… just what exactly is honest?

Not saying lies? Not seeking what is not yours? Not wishing harm for others? But then… if that is honesty, then is lying to save a innocent life dishonesty? Is the act of seeking what is not yours to ensure that it does not go in the hands of selfish wolves in human form dishonesty? Is wishing harm for those who themselves think of causing harm to others bad??

I realize that the question has moral as well as spiritual overtones. This question would have made an excellent topic for a theoretical debate. However, the problem is that this question is an extremely practical one! How can I be honest if I do not know what dishonesty is?

I understand that absolute honesty is impossible. Well… not impossible but impractical. A person who practices absolute honesty is of no use to others! At best, he shall act as the ultimate role model. However, he shall be of absolute no assistance in dealing with the questions that I have raised above! For him, things are black and white. I cannot tolerate this approach is the grey area in between happens to encompass lives of individuals. My absolute honesty that causes harm to an innocent and a helpless person is no worse than the worst dishonesty. At least that is what I think. I find it difficult to agree with absolute honesty partly because I feel I cannot achieve it. I will make exceptions and a person who practices such absolute honesty is just a hypocrite. I do not want to become one and I know very well that I will be a hypocrite if I talk of absolute honesty in one breath and if I make exceptions in the very next breath.

So… relative honesty it is! That is very nice but hardly comforting. Relative honesty is just that…. relative. It means different things to different people at different times. Relative honesty can help me justify my submissiveness to the corrupt politician. I can simply say that I am being dishonest so that I can survive to help poor and helpless citizens. But then… who is to act as judge upon me? Who is to decide whether my submissiveness was sufficiently offset by my good deeds or not? My submissiveness may allow the politician to fleece crores of citizens at the same point of time. How many should I help to balance it? This is not all. I will face power politics. I will face power games. I will have to play the game and I will have to win it if I want to succeed in my aim of helping people. I feel scared. What if I forget to do my duty after enjoying the ill gained fruits of dishonesty? What if I just pay lip service to honesty and like only to continue enjoying the life that I am living? What is to stop me from becoming… dishonest?? When I see such questions, I feel absolute honesty is not a bad idea. While you may suffer and your family may have to sacrifice, at least you will never look into the mirror and ask- whose side are you on?

The answer of – take it on a case by case basis- is a very easy one to say. However, it is very difficult to rely on it. It scares the shit out of me. It seems so…. uncertain. The more I think about it, the more I feel the answers to these questions of mine can be found only in two places- religious text and in the lives of successful ‘honest’ (how can I be sure?) individuals. These questions seem too…. melodramatic to pose to my friends, family or teachers. I fear I may be told to concentrate on more important things rather than worrying about the eternal and rather useless battle between right and wrong. I wish I could convince people that this question irks me and refuses to go away. I have taken up instances in my friends’ lives and have asked them- would you call that being honest?? Unfortunately, they either are unwilling to let me in on the secret or they seek guidance and assistance from me only. At the end of the day…. the confusion continues. Perhaps the only way to solve it is to face it as it comes. The more I think, the more I realize that I cannot enjoy the advantage of a theoretical plan to tackle the problem in advance. I realize I may have to do what I fear to trust- my ‘on the spot’ instincts.

I stopped writing and went to watch the finals of Wimbledon between Nadal and Federer. I thought- there is a lot of corruption and dishonesty in tennis as well. Then it struck me- on the court it does not matter. On the court, if you are better than the rest, it works as a tremendous advantage in your hands. Even the most dishonest of the players cannot win over the BEST player. Let the referee be in your payroll, let the ball boys be ‘your’ guys, let the whole goddamn world be in your pocket but you cannot beat the BEST! The BEST advocate, the BEST IAS officer, the BEST Accountant, the BEST scientist… the club of the BEST is a very exclusive club. If you are the BEST- best in hard work, presence of mind, knowledge, wisdom, memory, personality, appearance, intellect… you will have the greatest weapon against dishonesty!! Dishonesty is always lazy. It prefers anything to hard work and sweat. If a dishonest sweats, it shall always be the minimum most sweat possible. That means the honest guy just has to be a bit more patient and be a bit more eager to do hard work to come out on top! How does that sound? Hmm seems to make sense in a weird sort of manner for me… J

What was Farah Khan thinking??

I just saw the movie Om Shanti Om today. Hmm... cannot say it is a nice movie but it certainly has some nice scenes in it where the artists have done a wonderful job. The climax where the old Om sees Shanti in the eyes is a touching moment. Mukesh's cool demeanor while burning his own wife who has his child in her womb makes you wanna hurt that man. However, such scenes are few and far apart in a movie that is filled with inane scenes.
I must pin the blame on SRK and SRK alone. Sure, the script (if such a thing exists in a Farah Khan movie) was flawed beyond redemption. However, any ordinary actor with average emoting skills can do justice to a good script. It takes a really good artist to take your mind off the flawed script using his skills. SRK is ... or rather used to be one such actor. This movie... he just fails. Arjun Rampal was the only guy who looked like the 70's guy in the first half. SRK just did not fit in. It was the performance of a guy who just wanted to look like a guy living in the 70's. He just did not get that right and that is the biggest flaw in the movie.
Om Shanti Om.. .seemed like a 2 hour long Sajid Khan's "kehne mein kya harz hai" (a show where he spoofed and parodied practically everybody in the film industry) inserted into a 1 hour movie.
The plot is very simple
Junior artist falls for leading artist.
She is killed by her evil husband along with him
His reincarnation remembers "everything" when he visits the place where he died
He tries to avenge the murder of his love
He gets help of the ghost of the victim
Villain dies and all go home happy.

However, in this simple plot, we have inserted the wwwwwwiiiiiiddddddeeeeee difference between bollywood in the 70's and bollywood in the present day. The comparison was supposed to be frank, brutal and even irreverent. No respect or regard for big names. Just like Sajid Khan. However, this part fails and fails badly. Instead of highlighting the silliness that existed in the 70's, the movie inadvertently ends up highlighting the hypocrisy in the industry. Shabana Azmi spoofs her own activist tendencies. Helloooooooooooooo.... we are talking about values, beliefs and trust here. I was one who thought that she meant what she said when she spoke on burning issues. I thought she was serious when she spoke on slums and Mumbai and other social issues. Then she goes ahead and ridicules herself in the movie... what is that supposed to mean?? Given the right price, you would sell anything..... right??? All the activism nonsense was just to make sure you had a saleable commodity when the price was right??
So Bollywood.. is just a market??? Is it just a factory where smart businessmen play roles to fleece the gullible of their hard earned money?? They sell dreams... they help us satisfy our fantasies and innermost desires by seeing them on the screen. And then.. they go ahead and ridicule our fantasies and our dreams... and sell that as well
Is the film industry like a prostitute who pretends to love you when in reality you are nothing more than a wallet full of money??
Salman Rushdie ( I think) compared Mumbai to a whore who loots you and yet leaves you sated. Mumbai has no problem with that comparison. Rather, it is proud about this trait. Mumbai... is a tough game... leave your emotions home.
But what about bollywood?? It can be fulfill only one role at a single point of time. But not both. It cannot reveal its true and ruthless inner face when it is trying and hoping to seduce you . If it tries to do that, then it is obvious that it takes you for a fool. Ask yourself... will you be stupid enough to believe Azmi's activism again? This movie, by hyping the 70's vs 90's difference reveals Bollywood's line of thinking. If you ridicule awards in your movie and then proceed to vie for the same awards and if you expect us to believe that both are true, then obviously you think we have no brains whatsoever.
So are you here to make money or are you here coz you love arts and the life of fulfilling the larger than life fantasies of the masses? If it is the former, then for heaven's sake drop the bloody facade. You are no different than those who sell their bodies. The next time you expose your big cleavage, it is not coz the "role demanded it". It was simply coz you were paid the right price for it. If you really believe in fantasies and if the guy who claps and whistles at your antics is of any consequence whatsoever, then ... what the hell was OSO all about??

Btw. what the hell is so classy about the dialogue "picture abhi baaki hai'??? how would you feel if your cook came and told you "khana abhi baaki hai"??? They tried to market it as a "the show must go on" dialogue but failed miserably at it.

sorry so long

Teachers Teachers Teachers

Ever been in a room full of people who had assaulted in the past?? Well I had this strange experience. How?? Well I was invited to the wedding reception of my school biology teacher's daughter and found loads of teachers there. I discovered that I tend to sort teachers into two categories- those who have slapped me and those who have not.
Well, I was a student who loved to live the student life to the fullest. Strangely, me and my teachers never saw eye to eye on what a full student life was. So... slap, whack, thud...
I was once slapped real hard for trying to laugh as silently as a gorilla. Not all gorillas are the extrovert types you know. Sadly, the laugh was a rather loud one and it interrupted the efforts of my Maths teacher in introducing us to the nuances of the multiplication table. The consequence of my gorilla laugh... was for all to see. A really red cheek.
Then, my hindi teacher lost it when I submitted my grammar notebook for checking very late. By late, I mean really late. I was like 6 months late. I had cut corners to finish the work and it all added up to make the teacher really angry. She called me up front and gave it to me. The class had been given a free lecture, provided nobody made any noise... meaning talk but make sure the sound does not go out of the class room. Well, you can imagine the surprise of my classmates when the cool and calm teacher called me and gave it to me real hard. For some, it was the perfect way to end a free lecture.
Then we come to the biology teacher herself. Now, teachers do not hold back a slap if the boy is in 6th or 7th standard. However, when you are talking about a 10th Std adolescent, teachers rarely resort to physical punishment. Now, I was the only guy in my class who got it from the teacher. I messed up my biology practical and teacher was not too happy. She raised her hand and I immediately went into dodge mode. I thought this would suffice but sadly for me, my teacher went into anti dodge mode and dodged my dodge.
Some had sent me outside the class. Some had insisted I complete my homework sitting on the floor outside the cabin of the headmistress while one had told me to sit on the floor of the class for the whole day. After that, I learnt that making a girl cry by repeatedly taunting her was not such a good idea after all.
Today, in the party, images kept on coming back and I found myself thankful for the fact that I had such fantastic teachers who spent so much of time trying to help me reach my potential

Musings

My mom says i am a certified marathi fellow
for having violated the southie code of honour
i say ma I haven't loved a maharastrian
i have just fallen in love with a girl
a pretty, nice, sweet and well brought up girl
so wat is d problem???!!!

My girl says i am a pucca southie tam bram
n i beg to differ for i am just a man n not some bloody ram
I say i have not lived in d damn direction for decades
and she says d ties of the soil bind the soul
and wat is dat supposed to mean i growl,
look i love you and you love me.. or at least i hope
so wat is d problem???!!!

I hate these girls taking my boy away, my mom says
i say through gritted teeth- ma no taking away please
i am not a pizza for heavens sake
u wud rather be a vada pav would'nt you is the waspish reply
i give up and try to slink away
but my girl's glare forces me to say
ma wat is d problem???!!!

I prefer being an indian i plead
n both snigger at that and say i mislead
you are a wily kid v know v know
u want to b somebody else which is a no no
U eat rasam like those damn southies
and before i can muster courage
the second wave strikes me hard
You think like those cursed wretched manoos
i dont know which way to look to say
wat is d problem yaar?????!!!

With engagement miles away
i hear the battle for my son's mother tongue
the tongue of the mother or will it be the father's mother's tongue
God i wish he keeps it inside the mouth
and thinks a hundred times before speaking
an aai to the wrong lady and an amma to the wrong pori
god save me my knees shiver in fear of the consequences

I am about to break down
wen the two ladies of my life break into a smile
this is not IT but it could have been
you better be careful wen v r around
v may be good friends but dat wil not stop us
from watching you for signs of trying to switch sides
with a twinkle in their eyes, they smile at each other
and walk out with a warning---
i better not catch you on the other side sonny
i stil ask- wat d hell is d problem ladies???!!!!!!!

hitchhiker's philosophy

After working on my blogging work for some time, I decided to take a break and decided to read the HitchHiker's Guide to Galaxy. For the uninformed, it is a book where earth is destroyed and the last living human takes a lift from a passing space craft to alien and unexplored worlds. In this book, there is a field of improbability that is protecting a planet where the ruler of the universe lives. As you can understand, the term ruler of the universe conjures up grand visions of a wise old man on a golden throne. The reality is that an old man lives in a leaky shaft with his cat. Six individuals come and seek his advice to run the universe. When a man lands on the planet and asks him how he feels about the fact that his decisions affect the people of the universe, he says he has not met these people and does not know them. He says that his eyes and his ears are his universe. What he sees and what he hears is the universe.
When he is asked about past, he says that the past is nothing but one's own opinion of about one's experiences in life is the past. Come to think of it, what he says is absolutely true. what is our past?? all that we care to remember is our past. what we desire to remember constitutes our past. we wish to remember that india was a great nation in the past. we do not wish to remember the atrocities committed on the so called lower castes. If I manage to remember this, I can kiss my arrogance and conceit bye bye.
On a funny note, he asks his cat whether in its mind, it too sees people coming and asking him questions. He asks whether it seems to the cat as if they are singing to it?? Then, he acknowledges the possibility that perhaps they are indeed singing to the cat and he is the one who thinks they are asking him questions. The next time a person walks up to him, he asks- Are you hear to sing to the cat?? The poor guy ends up asking- "would the cat like that??
Any time you feel life is getting to you, read this Book. I guarantee the sheer quantity of sensible nonsense in this book will lighten you up:)

All about writing!!!!

Personally, I think writing is a form of communication that is far more exciting than oration. Well, there is no doubt that oration is very tough (having messed up quite a few public performance, I certainly think I can say so:0) but writing has a charm of its own.
The most difficult thing I find with writing is the fact that you have to work very hard not be misunderstood. More than half of the communication between two persons sitting face to face takes place through non verbal gestures like expression on the face and eye movement etc. Hence, the chances of being misunderstood is very remote. If you happen to insult somebody with a smile on your face and laughter in your eyes, it is probable that the individual in front of you will understand that you are pulling his or her leg. On the other hand, if you happen to use the same words as a sentence in letter, you will find the joke going completely awry. When you are writing, you have to remember that the possibility of your words being misinterpreted and misunderstood is always present. This makes writing a lot harder. You have to think a lot more before letting your thoughts flow.
A wise man I happened to meet said- speaking is similar to a burst pipe. The flow of the water is completely uncontrolled. On the other hand, writing is similar to the flow of water after a tap fitted on the burst pipe. The order and organization requires a lot of effort. A person who writes very well will definitely be a good orator. On the other hand, a person who speaks very well need not be a good writer.
I think I have painted a rather sombre and grim picture about writing. Writing, despite being tough, is a lot of fun. A impact of a written word is much more than a spoken one. For those who want to experience it, I would suggest that part of 'Freedom at Midnight' by Dominique Lapierre where he describes the first formal flag hosting of independent India. They bring tears to my eyes every time I read them. Another fantastic piece of work is the description of India's awakening by Swami Vivekananda where describes India as the infinite giant. You cannot help feel overawed. That is what good writing does to people.
And how can I forget humor. The best work of humorous writing will, undoubtedly, have to be PG Wodehouse. Many a good hours of mine has been spent on laughing with PG Wodehouse writing. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. Sometime I feel like saying thanks but I will prefer the thousand words:)
For all those who write, blog, brief, books... anything, here is a bit of friendly advice. Always think twice before expressing your opinion in print. It may come back to haunt you even after thousands of years!!!
Our earth is degenerate these days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching.
Assyrian stone tablet dated 2800 BC
I think the person who inscribed this must be kicking himself for being stupid enough to go on record with such a statement. And putting it on stone at that!!!

Punishment posting anyone??

I had a very interesting experience today. I was invited to a south indian family's house for dinner. Well to tell you the truth, my parents were invited coz the gentleman had a 'maragatalingam'. For the uninformed, it is a shivalinga that is considered to be very powerful and special. My parents were keen to see it. The gentleman was kind enough to invite me to dinner [something that has not happened in a very long time:-)]
So here I went along, prayed to their gods (their?? wat about ekam satyam??) and had a sumptuous dinner.
Then the gentleman began regaling us with tales from his office. He is a government employee and due to office politics, he was posted as a telephone operator during routine shifting in the office. He was very upset coz he was the most senior person around. He took 5 minutes to compose himself and took on the task with lots of enthusiasm. He did his job so well and so conscientiously that the telephone bill of the office that was ranging from 40k to 50k per month was cut down to 8k to 10k per month.
People who were bypassing the system to make personal calls at government's expense found they could not enjoy free telephone services any more. They began to rue the fact that he was sent on this posting in the first place. After four months of control, the people who played dirty politics were desperate to get this man out of there. The gentleman said that by the end of the four months, he was enjoying his punishment posting coz he had never been able to trouble these dirty politics players as he was able to as a telephone operator.
He is not an extraordinary man or something. Everybody in their house is related to government in one way or d other. They firmly and even stupidly believe in job security. Ordinary humans living honest lives and finding ways to do their job honestly despite all odds.
I read in our Prez Kalam's Wings of Fire-
When you are the hammer- strike
When you are the anvil- bear.
Met such a person today. It was a nice experience.
[tags]government, politics,job security,Kalam, Wings of Fire[/tags]